“The remarkable thing about God is that when you fear God, you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else” Oswald Chambers.
“Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!”
~~~Psalm 31:19 (KJV)~~~
There is nothing to fear unless we forget what the Lord has done.
True forgiveness is only possible when we choose to see others through the eyes of God.
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
~~~John 3:16 (KJV)~~~
The Sinner’s Prayer
Dear Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner. I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior. Amen.
Photo Credit: Moi
p.s. It is my earnest desire for you, my dear reader, to come to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and to grow as a Christian.
Blessings!
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At our first meeting I recall my future husband being very quiet, not saying too much. As our encounters continued I was taken by his deep voice, though I really don’t recall actually being aware of its charm until a few weeks later. We had both been invited by the same person; an older man now deceased to listen to a guest speaker at the local junior college. Neither of us was aware this older man was a mutual friend. Had he invited us both hoping we would meet at this lecture? Possibly.
I had had to stay late at the fabric store where I was working and as a result the lecture had already started by the time I arrived. Assuming no one was noticing my entrance I quickly took a seat at the front of the room. I do recall the name of the guest speaker, but I will admit I remember very little about what he had to say. At the conclusion of his lecture, the guest speaker took questions from the audience.
Being in the front row I could not always see the person asking the question. While I don’t recall what he asked, I do recall recognizing his voice! Near the back of the room a deep and smooth voice very quickly got my attention. He later admitted he noticed me when I found a front row seat. Well, actually he confessed he noticed my “backside” to be exact.
I have always loved the sound of my husband’s voice. True, it sometimes gets a bit high sounding, like whenever he is letting himself go or whenever he is frustrated or irritated. And I may not always like what he has to say, but I do love to hear his deep and smooth voice just the same. I love having conversations with him, and maybe even more so enjoyable when over the phone because I can really focus on listening to his voice.
After the lecture, I invited him to a party at my apartment. I really didn’t give much thought as to whether or not he would come. Our gatherings were quite often very casual, just a group of college friends enjoying being together. I guess I figured if he was interested he would stop by some time during the evening. Truth be told I was a bit surprised when the next morning my roommate handed me the phone and said Darrin was on the line. Taking the phone I responded to my roommate by saying “Darrin, Darrin who?”
Now, before you decide I was a bit cold or worse, I must confess I was still sleeping when he called. And I really don’t remember why he called or what we talked about that morning. I do know he did come to the party and I do know I enjoyed listening to him talk. No, I really didn’t just enjoy listening to him talk, I was smitten by his voice and I still am.
p.s. My husband’s name has been changed to protect his innocence.
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Being a mother of young adult sons brings many opportunities to share wisdom gathered over the years. I recall my mother-in-law often pointing out how one doesn’t change the management. Our son is now in a managerial position. With this position has come more responsibility as well as frustration. And with this he has come to remember his own dreams and aspirations, none of which have anything to do with being in a managerial position. He is an extremely talented young artist with the gift of creativity. How did I encourage him?
“…do your research and give more thought to developing your ideas, your business plan so to speak. Don’t burn any bridges, lay low, don’t make waves, bide your time while you focus on you and your goals. Let your experience and time spent while in this managerial position serve its purposes for you. No experience in life is ever wasted and will serve a purpose in your future, guaranteed! This is how one acquires wisdom. Focusing on your passions guides you in discovering your God-given purposes.”
“Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” James 3:13-18 (ESV).
Photo Credit: Jean van der Meulen
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I realize there is a dry humored and extremely funny British sitcom called “Waiting For God” which aired in the early nineties. Of course it is about those who are in their retirement years, making the best of it as they wait for God to grant them their final rest. Recently I have discovered we need to wait for God, but in another way.
Our world is bent on taking advantage of every second of every hour, filling it with what we consider to be productive activities. Our goal seems to be somewhat like a race. This race we gradually entered as teens, then college preparation, then hitting it hard climbing the ladder of success. Success being a nice home and other acquired possessions, marriage and family, position in our choice of career,…and of course the financial means necessary to have all of this and more. How do we do this? By what we consider to be productive activities.
At the end of this race we hope to have acquired everything and more. At the end of this race we enter the retirement years. At the end of this race we celebrate this monumental milestone, but only for a moment. We very quickly begin to reflect. Where did time go? Was it all worth it? What about the regrets, the sacrifices and fallout, the wrong decisions,…the emptiness.
Not for one second am I saying we should not be productive and have proof of our productivity. Each and every one of us has specific God-given purposes and have been given specific gifts and passions with which to fulfill our purposes in life. But maybe, just maybe we should slow down a bit, pace ourselves throughout this race, and wait for God to guide us along the way. And maybe, just maybe, during those quiet contemplative moments with God we come to realize what’s really important. In doing so we still are able to attain the good life we desired, but without the need to fill every second of every hour with ‘productive activity’ followed by making peace with our past regrets.
Instead we slow down, “smell the roses”, we take the time to look up and grasp the awesomeness of God’s creation. We notice the twinkle in our child’s eye for the first time in a long time. We really feel the love of our spouse and our heart begins to swell. And then we begin to relax a bit. We begin to desire subtle changes in how we think and how we behave. We promise ourselves to not waste another second of our time on empty and hollow pursuits. We come to realize relationships with those closest to us have now become our priority once and for all. And we relish our quiet moments of waiting for God.
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Straight up, I miss my mommy and am not sure I will ever stop missing her. She passed into glory on the morning of May 25th of this past year. Despite her failing health, she remained her sweet self to the very end. Less than two days before she passed, we talked by phone. Still her sweet and encouraging self, yet she admitted she was tired. She hadn’t said this to me before and I knew it was time.
While she was blessed to pass at home on the farm as she had wanted, just a few weeks prior I had had the opportunity of spending the night with her in her hospital room. It was a very, very special time we shared together. It was as if we had gone back in time and were both young again.
Dad and Mother were twenty and eighteen respectively when they married. By the time Mother was twenty-six, she had four children to nourish with her love. Though I am the second of four children, being the oldest daughter I have come to realize just how fortunate I was to have had her to teach me by her example just how to be a wife and mother, and to care for a home. I have often said Mother would have been an amazing kindergarten teacher, a natural and gifted teacher for sure. I am so grateful to have been her private student.
And so, the night we spent together in her hospital room was a night I am so thankful to have experienced with her. While I was tired and found myself catnapping only to be awakened by her wanting to talk, I enjoyed every minute of our conversations. It was as if she was in her early thirties and I was a young girl. We talked of memories from each of our childhoods. We talked about our each dating and falling in love with our husbands.
It was fun to be able to discuss topics which would never have been possible all those years ago. And, to discuss the past not through my childhood eyes, but through my now adult eyes. And yes, how interesting to be able to see the past in a full circle view, now knowing what I could not have been able to understand as a child.
She seemed open to my asking about a particular fear she dealt with. We children knew of this fear, actually a very common fear many people have, the fear of water. While I knew of an occurrence during her early twenties which would have left anyone traumatized, I discovered during our midnight hour chatting of how her fear of water took hold of her as a small child.
What also came to light was just how much her own mother’s fear caused her fear to develop. Mother nearly drowned as an eight year old little girl. Her mother, my grandmother, helplessly witnessed this incidence. And while my grandmother seemed to worry not just about her own children, but we grandchildren as well, hearing my mother retelling the story, made it clear my grandmother’s fear of losing her baby girl had more of an impact on my mother than that of her own experience, the actual seconds of her own being under water.
While I am not sure whether Mother realized it or not, her retelling of her near drowning incidence was told based on the perspective, the fear, she saw on her own mother’s face that afternoon. I have wondered since, had my grandmother’s facial expression been different, would my mother have developed a fear of water? Being a mother myself, I totally understand my grandmother’s heartfelt emotions as she watched her little girl going under. Any mother who loves her own children certainly understands. This is what a mother is all about. This is what a mother is made of. This is my mother’s love.
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My parents met as a result of Dad carrying out groceries at the local Kroger. I can’t say I really know too many of the details. I do hope to have the opportunity of hearing them tell more about their courtship days. I do know Mother’s mother sold eggs to the grocer and of course Dad just happened to be the young man who carried out my grandmother’s groceries.
Despite another young man threatening to run down my very young future dad with his souped-up pickup truck, he continued to court my very young future mother. Funny thing, this hotheaded young man who boldly made such threats, would later become the husband of one of our all-time favorite high school teachers. And interestingly enough, they did not have children. Knowing all this I have often felt grateful my mother married my dad! How the mind of a child truly works!
I do know my parents were both very young, both straight off the farm, and both wanted nothing more than to return to the farm and to raise a family together. Despite the hardships of the small family farm, they have been able to do just that.
My parents were married in 1959. I am certain they have not spent more than a dozen or so nights apart over the years. Remember the sixties when mothers were expected to recuperate in the hospital after the birth of a baby? Of course now my parents have both had surgeries and other health issues which have required overnight hospital stays. They both have really good attitudes concerning their health.
Just as I tell my wonderful husband from time to time I tell Dad, he too is crotchety! And it’s okay, he enjoys the attention. I realize part of this crotchetiness is due to his upbringing, but I think it is mainly due to the fact he has severe hearing loss.
As a boy of about eight he fell against the door of a root cellar damaging one ear and it seems no one realized the severity of the fall. Certainly working around farm machinery all his life has also negatively affected his ability to hear. We just learned to live with this growing up; the television was always too loud for most of us.
However, the real damage occurred a few years ago when he became violently ill, vomiting incessantly. It seems there had been a major outbreak of mosquitoes and he contracted viral encephalitis, which resulted in total loss of hearing in the opposite ear. I’m certain he has simply adapted to not being able to fully participate in conversations. And I’m certain he wished he could.
Mother on the other hand has diabetes and as a result has been gradually losing her eyesight. This has been a challenge for her as she has always sewed, crocheted, and cooked. And though she can still partially see, I expect the real disappointment, though she can still safely hold them in her arms, is she can’t really, really look into the eyes of her great grandchildren. She so wants photos of us and our families hung in their new home, but…
And now I find myself watching my parents, observing how they are functioning, something I really never did before. They have a very large television. Mother can see blurred images. The volume is up as high as it will go. If Mother misses something, Dad explains what he sees. If Dad misses something, then Mother explains what she hears. This has become their routine and amazingly seems to work for them.
Dad has had to take on a lot of the domestic role which was traditionally Mother’s. Of course he still seeks her counsel on just about everything, as was always the case between them. I have never doubted his grasping the value of having Mother as his partner for life. I can’t help but be concerned for the future, one living without the other.
They have been a team from the moment they pledged their wedding vows. And even though age and health issues are causing their life to become very simplified and extremely routine, they seem happy, contented, and very much still in love. I will forever be grateful for the stability and beautiful example of their unconditional and totally devoted love they share. Dad zips up mother’s jacket. She holds his hand as he guides them out the door. This is what marriage is all about. This is true love.
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