Falling in Love

I met my wonderful husband nearly thirty-eight years ago. Rereading letters my grandmother wrote to me while I was away at college makes it feel so fresh in my mind. Falling in love is amazing!

In one letter she writes “Then the most rewarding and most wonderful of all, in your last year of college-Darrin, comes into your life. I’m sure every girl dreams of just the ‘right man’ and I’m sure every mother, grandmother, and special friends also hope and pray for just the ‘right man’ to come into their special child’s life, special-as you girls have been to me-and I do thank God for Darrin in your life. You are both very special young people-When I got a letter that went something like this “Darrin has so many fine qualities-and none of the other guys I’ve dated can even compare to him!” I thought “I think this is it”-and then I came to know him-how wonderful it all is. God watches over and guides those He loves-you know”.

She continues “I’m sure there are many girls in the world who wish they had what you have-Nothing is more wonderful in a woman’s life than knowing she has the love and respect of a fine man-May sound queer for an old woman of seventy-four to say, but that I believe and know from experience; my mother always said a woman who was not “what she should be” had ruined the life of many a man. And I am happy in the fact that you do love and respect Darrin so much and that is good! He is what I call a “Christian Gentleman” and that covers about everything, and you are a beautiful girl, I mean character, habits, thoughts, etc.,…I am so proud of both of you-you both seem mature which is a quality I like”.

What more can I say? My husband is the most amazing and wonderful man I know. And I agree with my grandmother referring to him as being a “Christian Gentleman”. A fine man indeed!

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My Husband: Smitten By His Voice

February 20, 2020December 31, 2020 taylorjamesalbert

At our first meeting I recall my future husband being very quiet, not saying too much. As our encounters continued I was taken by his deep voice, though I really don’t recall actually being aware of its charm until a few weeks later. We had both been invited by the same person; an older man now deceased to listen to a guest speaker at the local junior college. Neither of us was aware this older man was a mutual friend. Had he invited us both hoping we would meet at this lecture? Possibly.

I had had to stay late at the fabric store where I was working and as a result the lecture had already started by the time I arrived. Assuming no one was noticing my entrance I quickly took a seat at the front of the room. I do recall the name of the guest speaker, but I will admit I remember very little about what he had to say. At the conclusion of his lecture, the guest speaker took questions from the audience.

Being in the front row I could not always see the person asking the question. While I don’t recall what he asked, I do recall recognizing his voice! Near the back of the room a deep and smooth voice very quickly got my attention. He later admitted he noticed me when I found a front row seat. Well, actually he confessed he noticed my “backside” to be exact.

I have always loved the sound of my husband’s voice. True, it sometimes gets a bit high sounding, like whenever he is letting himself go or whenever he is frustrated or irritated. And I may not always like what he has to say, but I do love to hear his deep and smooth voice just the same. I love having conversations with him, and maybe even more so enjoyable when over the phone because I can really focus on listening to his voice.

After the lecture, I invited him to a party at my apartment. I really didn’t give much thought as to whether or not he would come. Our gatherings were quite often very casual, just a group of college friends enjoying being together. I guess I figured if he was interested he would stop by some time during the evening. Truth be told I was a bit surprised when the next morning my roommate handed me the phone and said Darrin was on the line. Taking the phone I responded to my roommate by saying “Darrin, Darrin who?”

Now, before you decide I was a bit cold or worse, I must confess I was still sleeping when he called. And I really don’t remember why he called or what we talked about that morning. I do know he did come to the party and I do know I enjoyed listening to him talk. No, I really didn’t just enjoy listening to him talk, I was smitten by his voice and I still am.

p.s. My husband’s name has been changed to protect his innocence.

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My Mother’s Love

February 14, 2020November 13, 2020 taylorjamesalbert

Straight up, I miss my mommy and am not sure I will ever stop missing her. She passed into glory on the morning of May 25th of this past year. Despite her failing health, she remained her sweet self to the very end. Less than two days before she passed, we talked by phone. Still her sweet and encouraging self, yet she admitted she was tired. She hadn’t said this to me before and I knew it was time.

While she was blessed to pass at home on the farm as she had wanted, just a few weeks prior I had had the opportunity of spending the night with her in her hospital room. It was a very, very special time we shared together. It was as if we had gone back in time and were both young again.

Dad and Mother were twenty and eighteen respectively when they married. By the time Mother was twenty-six, she had four children to nourish with her love. Though I am the second of four children, being the oldest daughter I have come to realize just how fortunate I was to have had her to teach me by her example just how to be a wife and mother, and to care for a home. I have often said Mother would have been an amazing kindergarten teacher, a natural and gifted teacher for sure. I am so grateful to have been her private student.

And so, the night we spent together in her hospital room was a night I am so thankful to have experienced with her. While I was tired and found myself catnapping only to be awakened by her wanting to talk, I enjoyed every minute of our conversations. It was as if she was in her early thirties and I was a young girl. We talked of memories from each of our childhoods. We talked about our each dating and falling in love with our husbands.

It was fun to be able to discuss topics which would never have been possible all those years ago. And, to discuss the past not through my childhood eyes, but through my now adult eyes. And yes, how interesting to be able to see the past in a full circle view, now knowing what I could not have been able to understand as a child.

She seemed open to my asking about a particular fear she dealt with. We children knew of this fear, actually a very common fear many people have, the fear of water. While I knew of an occurrence during her early twenties which would have left anyone traumatized, I discovered during our midnight hour chatting of how her fear of water took hold of her as a small child.

What also came to light was just how much her own mother’s fear caused her fear to develop. Mother nearly drowned as an eight year old little girl. Her mother, my grandmother, helplessly witnessed this incidence. And while my grandmother seemed to worry not just about her own children, but we grandchildren as well, hearing my mother retelling the story, made it clear my grandmother’s fear of losing her baby girl had more of an impact on my mother than that of her own experience, the actual seconds of her own being under water.

While I am not sure whether Mother realized it or not, her retelling of her near drowning incidence was told based on the perspective, the fear, she saw on her own mother’s face that afternoon. I have wondered since, had my grandmother’s facial expression been different, would my mother have developed a fear of water? Being a mother myself, I totally understand my grandmother’s heartfelt emotions as she watched her little girl going under. Any mother who loves her own children certainly understands. This is what a mother is all about. This is what a mother is made of. This is my mother’s love.