Grandparents

“He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned” Mark 16:16 (KJV).

While I was saved and baptized as a young teenager and loved the Lord, I was just busy getting on with my life, dreaming of the future, college, marriage and family,…I read my Bible, I attended church, prayed and naturally wove the topic of my faith into my conversations and life choices, I truly did believe, but…

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” Ephesians 6:4 (KJV).

During the summer after high school graduation I worked at the little local Carnegie Library. At noon I would walk a couple doors down and eat lunch with my grandparents. Thankfully they always made a point to challenge my thinking. This particular day I had made a bold statement about having my own faith and convictions. I remember his smile and her chuckle. And then my grandmother explaining how I had been living my parents’ faith and convictions. How, now entering the adult world and especially that of going away to college, my faith and convictions would be tested as I developed my own.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” Proverbs 22:6 (KJV).

Leaving our little “Mayberry” and entering the world of academia, my college educated and God loving grandmother was obviously correct. It wasn’t that I doubted her and of course, I definitely trusted her, it was that I just didn’t have a clue, as she herself knew, and as I was beginning to understand.

“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded” James 4:8 (KJV).

As I initially felt engulfed by all that this new world had to offer, I stayed true to my parents’ faith and convictions. I felt engulfed because I had left the protected and safe world where I honestly had never really dealt with dishonesty, where all the adults could be trusted and truly did care about my well being. While I would end up having college professors who were Christians, I also experienced like a deer in the headlights, professors who introduced me to a very foreign way of thinking. One atheist professor’s agenda was to destroy my faith in God. Yes, I was a (naive) Josh Wheaton being angrily challenged by my own Professor Radisson.

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee” Deuteronomy 31:6 (KJV).

Did I waffle? Yes. Did I doubt my faith in God? No, but I did waffle a bit. How? I did question my wholesome upbringing by becoming curious about decisions my college friends were making, seemingly oblivious to the consequences for their actions. I mean, I was an adult now. Wasn’t I mature enough and wise enough to dabble in some of the same choices as my free-er thinking college friends?

“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever” 1 John 2:15-17 (KJV).

I did feel a mixture of emotions, guilt, shame, even regret for some of my own choices. I couldn’t understand what the difference was between others and their choices and me and my choices. How did they seem to not bear the weight of their own choices? Why weren’t they losing sleep and losing themselves?

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit” Romans 8:1 (KJV).

It would be years of feeling guilt, regret, self-condemnation and shame as I felt the burden of carrying the responsibility of my poor decisions. I just couldn’t seem to give myself grace. Did I doubt what Jesus had done for me?

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” Romans 5:8 (KJV).

I remember the moment the truth became crystal clear. It was not that I had abandoned my faith during my college days, despite for what I felt condemnation. I was wrong! It was not condemnation, but conviction I felt!! God had never left me, He had been there with me all along. He had gently whispered into my ears the truth, guiding it down into my heart. Freedom is a wonderful thing. I am loved by Him for who I am and not my poor choices. I am loved by Him because I am me.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” Matthew 11:28 (ESV).

Dad grew up on the adjoining farm, another very small farm which included a very small two bedroom farmhouse with a very large family. Grandpa farmed and Grandma did the cooking and cleaning. They worked hard, just as everyone did back then. No modern conveniences. Just the same they reared eleven children. Even though Grandpa thought eleven children was not enough, Grandma certainly did and so eleven it was. She was simply an amazing woman, a God-fearing amazing woman who loved all her children.

Out of those eleven children there were only three girls. Oh My! It has been said that my grandmother could identify each of her sons by the sound of their footsteps as they walked through the kitchen late at night. I venture to say she really did not sleep until she had heard each and every son’s footsteps.

Today, for the first time in about a million years I had the opportunity to visit with the second to youngest uncle. Ornery should have been the middle name given to each of my uncles at birth, each and every one of them! As he was growling about not seeing me in such a very long time, I finally interrupted by saying “If you have missed me so much and would stop growling and instead give me a hug”. He did give me a hug, all the while continuing to growl a bit longer about my being away all these years.

The two youngest uncles are only about ten years older than all of us older cousins and were still living at home for a few years after many of us were born. I will never forget riding in their cars, sitting in the backseat leaning over the front seat as we sped over the gravel roads. seat belts anyone? Were we flying? It certainly felt like we might actually have lifted off the ground a time or two. I do recall the thrill of lifting off the seat on more than one occasion. I’m certain my parents knew we were with them, but did they know just how fast we were traveling, on gravel roads no less.

Spending a few days each summer at Grandpa and Grandma’s always included interesting experiences especially while these two youngest uncles were still living at home, siblings who had to share just about everything, including dress shoes or so it seemed. The youngest uncle was upset with this growling uncle that I speak of. It seems he had borrowed his dress shoes and had failed to mention it. The youngest uncle discovered this while getting ready for a date. Boy, was he mad and boy, did he give this uncle a chewing out!

Whatever girl cousins were staying, along with my sister and me, all shared a hide-a-bed sofa in the living room. Privacy was not considered essential for little girls, pre-puberty as we all were at the time. Taking a bath in a horse trough in the backyard on summer afternoons was just normal. Yes, my grandparent’s house had a bathroom by this time, but maybe Grandma thought it a much more refreshing experience for us to bath in the out of doors. Really I expect the cleaning up was much quicker this way, she certainly had enough to do as it was. The lack of privacy must not have been a concern in her eyes either, as I remember at least one of these two uncles coming into the backyard where we were bathing and having a casual conversation with Grandma while we scrubbed our bare little bodies. This was just the way it was, sort of like stepping back in time a bit, whenever we visited our grandparents.

And this is just the way all my uncles were, and especially this growling uncle. So even though he growled all the way through our short welcoming home encounter, growling is his mode of operation. I already knew this and so also knew how to play along. And I knew he was glad to see me. I also realize he has many fond memories of my childhood, many I am sure I do not even remember. So I am just glad he was glad to see me.

As he left the house he growled his parting comment to me “See you later Ugly”. Yes, that’s my uncle.