“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
~~~1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)~~~
The Miraculous Life “And He always points me to the wedge when you’re cutting firewood. And I don’t know if anybody’s chopped firewood before, but you have this big, strong log. And you take this wedge and you pound this wedge into this big log. And it’s amazing how this very tiny point of a tip is the thing that makes the inroad. It gets in there just a little bit. And as it further goes down it creates greater and greater separation, so much so that this big log splits in two. And I believe that’s the way many mundane, everyday circumstances are happening that priorities begin to get out of wack. We begin to not care or nurture for this most precious relationship called marriage the way that we should”.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].”
~~~1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (AMPC)~~~
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
~~~Mark 10:9 (KJV)~~~
“Keep your eyes open, hold tight to your convictions, give it all you’ve got, be resolute, and love without stopping.”
~~~1 Corinthians 16:14 (MSG)~~~
Happy 38th Wedding Anniversary Darling!
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Blessings!
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Charlyne Steinkamp “Women, do you respect your husband? Men are to love their wives as their own bodies . A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. Ephesians 5:31 When I started disrespecting Bob because of his actions, behaviors, and words, I allowed the enemy to come into our home and pour self-righteousness, bitterness, and anger into my heart”.
“Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, Because we are members (parts) of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church. However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].”
Paul “Divorce isn’t always the option that people think it is.”
Sarah “So I’m just suppose to stay in a miserable marriage?”
Paul “Marriage is a loyal partnership. Do you really think God would leave you with just two options? Misery or divorce? That’s a myth.”
Sarah “Well, children deserve to live in a home where their parents aren’t fighting all the time.”
Paul “Children deserve to live in a home where the parents learn to NOT fight with each other,…Sarah, you can get a divorce. That is an option that is certainly available to you, but you owe it to yourself and to your children to be honest about why you’re doing it.”
~~~~~~
Brent “Paul, why is this so hard?”
Paul “Well, did you think that turning your world upside down would be easy?”
Brent “Tons of people get divorced every day.”
Paul “That’s the point. None of this is gonna be easy. I mean, nobody wins in a divorce except the attorneys.”
Brent “This is tearing us apart.”
Paul “Well, that’s exactly what is supposed to be happening. Look, God develops this redemptive plan for the world, and divorce just tears at the heart of it.”
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Sarah “I felt so alone.”
Donovan “And you thought by divorcing your husband, that’s gonna make you feel less alone?”
Sarah “No, I just wanted Brent to prioritize our marriage and make me feel important as much as the kids and his job.”
Donovan ” And you thought by nagging him, by blaming him, by withholding your love and support for him…”
Sarah “I just wanted him to…”
Donavan “To what?”
Brent “To stand up. She just wanted me to stand up for us…Your honor, I thought the value of a man was measured by how hard he worked and how quickly he climbed the ladder of success. What’s funny is as soon as I got kicked off that ladder of success, the only thing I could think about was…my wife and kids.”
~~~~~~
“You should defend those who cannot help themselves.”
“Every husband is God’s partner to bring his wife to her full potential. But in order for that to happen you have to believe she has potential. You have to believe that God made her in her mother’s womb to do something special, whatever that is. And as a husband my job is to be God’s partner to find out why God created Karen and to believe in that” Jimmy Evans.
“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
~~~1 Peter 3:1-7 (ESV)~~~
“Redemption means I’m doing the right thing for you when you’re doing the wrong thing for me,…Jesus paid a price for us that we could not pay,…” Jimmy Evans.
“…our first response always is anger,…frustrated,…the pity stuff,…I look at what God went through just to redeem me,…I mean I should at least give that to you,…You blamed me for everything. You would never take responsibility,…there’s two sides to every marriage,…You definitely have issues as much as your husband does, but what I did is I asked the Lord to change me,…and then I just started praying,…constantly in my prayer closet.,…I didn’t lose faith that God could change both of us,…” Karen Evans.
“Self-centeredness is the foundation to all bitterness and hurt and pain. It’s what goes on in marriages when you’re self-centered, you have a problem almost with everything because you have yourself in the center. You have to remove yourself from the center in the midst of an attack and it won’t bother you, because you are not in the center of it” Creflo Dollar.
“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”
~~~James 3:14-16 (KJV)~~~
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Blessings!
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“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Listening to “Conversations With John & Lisa Bevere” as they discuss the topic of “Building a Marriage That Lasts (part 1)”, is well suited for any couple who desires to have a loving, fulfilling, enriching,… and long-term relationship. This particular podcast includes John & Lisa answering questions concerning such topics as prenuptial agreements and who should lead and when.
Standing for marriage as I am honored and blessed by God to be called to do, I have come to realize just how much finger pointing I was guilty of and how often I should have been pointing my finger at myself and not at my wonderful husband. For this I have and will continue to ask forgiveness.
“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”
~~~Matthew 7:3 (KJV)~~~
“…marriage is precious to God. He is the one that authored it. And He said He is the author and finisher of our faith. Don’t give up because nothing is impossible with God. I don’t care how hopeless your situation seems, through prayer, through crying out to God, through reading His Word, anything, anything can be mended and not only mended, but made stronger than it’s ever been before” John Bevere.
Ultimately, just as the stander learns, the returning prodigal spouse comes to realize just what unconditional love is truly all about. Bob Steinkamp of Rejoice Marriage Ministries wrote of his attempts to “push her buttons”, that of his standing wife, Charlyne, in an attempt to provoke her to lash out at him. Was she really changing her ways? Or were these changes in her character simply more of her manipulative methods that Bob could use to justify his own selfish behaviors. In reality he was testing the waters to see if Charlyne truly had had the heart change he was beginning to notice.
To better understand a spouse who leaves the marriage, it has become common to compare them with the story of the prodigal son found in Luke 15:11-24 (GNV):
“He said moreover, A certain man had two sons, And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of the goods that falleth to me. So he divided unto them his substance. So not many days after, when the younger son had gathered all together, he took his journey into a far country, and there he wasted his goods with riotous living.
Now when he had spent all, there arose a great dearth throughout that land, and he began to be in necessity. Then he went and clave to a citizen of that country, and he sent him to his farm, to feed swine. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine ate: but no man gave them him.
Then he came to himself, and said, How many hired servants at my father’s have bread enough, and I die for hunger? I will rise and go to my father, and say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thine hired servants.
So he arose and came to his father, and when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck, and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.
Then the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet, And bring the fat calf, and kill him, and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again: and he was lost, but he is found. And they began to be merry.”
If I remember correctly it was also Bob who spoke of the “Three C’s” of transformation evident in a prodigal spouse as they make their way back home. He explained the “Three C’s” of transformation were first that of being critical, followed by curious, and lastly that of being convicted.
Interestingly enough, the stander must first experience their own heartfelt and transformative stages as well. This is how unconditional love opens the door, welcoming home the prodigal spouse. This is how unconditional love changes everything.
