Priorities

Paul “Divorce isn’t always the option that people think it is.”

Sarah “So I’m just suppose to stay in a miserable marriage?”

Paul “Marriage is a loyal partnership. Do you really think God would leave you with just two options? Misery or divorce? That’s a myth.”

Sarah “Well, children deserve to live in a home where their parents aren’t fighting all the time.”

Paul “Children deserve to live in a home where the parents learn to NOT fight with each other,…Sarah, you can get a divorce. That is an option that is certainly available to you, but you owe it to yourself and to your children to be honest about why you’re doing it.”

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Brent “Paul, why is this so hard?”

Paul “Well, did you think that turning your world upside down would be easy?”

Brent “Tons of people get divorced every day.”

Paul “That’s the point. None of this is gonna be easy. I mean, nobody wins in a divorce except the attorneys.”

Brent “This is tearing us apart.”

Paul “Well, that’s exactly what is supposed to be happening. Look, God develops this redemptive plan for the world, and divorce just tears at the heart of it.”

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Sarah “I felt so alone.”

Donovan “And you thought by divorcing your husband, that’s gonna make you feel less alone?”

Sarah “No, I just wanted Brent to prioritize our marriage and make me feel important as much as the kids and his job.”

Donovan ” And you thought by nagging him, by blaming him, by withholding your love and support for him…”

Sarah “I just wanted him to…”

Donavan “To what?”

Brent “To stand up. She just wanted me to stand up for us…Your honor, I thought the value of a man was measured by how hard he worked and how quickly he climbed the ladder of success. What’s funny is as soon as I got kicked off that ladder of success, the only thing I could think about was…my wife and kids.”

~~~~~~

“You should defend those who cannot help themselves.”

Proverbs 31:8 (TLB)

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I realize there is a dry humored and extremely funny British sitcom called “Waiting For God” which aired in the early nineties. Of course it is about those who are in their retirement years, making the best of it as they wait for God to grant them their final rest. Recently I have discovered we need to wait for God, but in another way.

Our world is bent on taking advantage of every second of every hour, filling it with what we consider to be productive activities. Our goal seems to be somewhat like a race. This race we gradually entered as teens, then college preparation, then hitting it hard climbing the ladder of success. Success being a nice home and other acquired possessions, marriage and family, position in our choice of career,…and of course the financial means necessary to have all of this and more. How do we do this? By what we consider to be productive activities.

At the end of this race we hope to have acquired everything and more. At the end of this race we enter the retirement years. At the end of this race we celebrate this monumental milestone, but only for a moment. We very quickly begin to reflect. Where did time go? Was it all worth it? What about the regrets, the sacrifices and fallout, the wrong decisions,…the emptiness.

Not for one second am I saying we should not be productive and have proof of our productivity. Each and every one of us has specific God-given purposes and have been given specific gifts and passions with which to fulfill our purposes in life. But maybe, just maybe we should slow down a bit, pace ourselves throughout this race, and wait for God to guide us along the way. And maybe, just maybe, during those quiet contemplative moments with God we come to realize what’s really important. In doing so we still are able to attain the good life we desired, but without the need to fill every second of every hour with ‘productive activity’ followed by making peace with our past regrets.

Instead we slow down, “smell the roses”, we take the time to look up and grasp the awesomeness of God’s creation. We notice the twinkle in our child’s eye for the first time in a long time. We really feel the love of our spouse and our heart begins to swell. And then we begin to relax a bit. We begin to desire subtle changes in how we think and how we behave. We promise ourselves to not waste another second of our time on empty and hollow pursuits. We come to realize relationships with those closest to us have now become our priority once and for all. And we relish our quiet moments of waiting for God.