My parents met as a result of Dad carrying out groceries at the local Kroger. I can’t say I really know too many of the details. I do hope to have the opportunity of hearing them tell more about their courtship days. I do know Mother’s mother sold eggs to the grocer and of course Dad just happened to be the young man who carried out my grandmother’s groceries.
Despite another young man threatening to run down my very young future dad with his souped-up pickup truck, he continued to court my very young future mother. Funny thing, this hotheaded young man who boldly made such threats, would later become the husband of one of our all-time favorite high school teachers. And interestingly enough, they did not have children. Knowing all this I have often felt grateful my mother married my dad! How the mind of a child truly works!
I do know my parents were both very young, both straight off the farm, and both wanted nothing more than to return to the farm and to raise a family together. Despite the hardships of the small family farm, they have been able to do just that.
My parents were married in 1959. I am certain they have not spent more than a dozen or so nights apart over the years. Remember the sixties when mothers were expected to recuperate in the hospital after the birth of a baby? Of course now my parents have both had surgeries and other health issues which have required overnight hospital stays. They both have really good attitudes concerning their health.
Just as I tell my wonderful husband from time to time I tell Dad, he too is crotchety! And it’s okay, he enjoys the attention. I realize part of this crotchetiness is due to his upbringing, but I think it is mainly due to the fact he has severe hearing loss.
As a boy of about eight he fell against the door of a root cellar damaging one ear and it seems no one realized the severity of the fall. Certainly working around farm machinery all his life has also negatively affected his ability to hear. We just learned to live with this growing up; the television was always too loud for most of us.
However, the real damage occurred a few years ago when he became violently ill, vomiting incessantly. It seems there had been a major outbreak of mosquitoes and he contracted viral encephalitis, which resulted in total loss of hearing in the opposite ear. I’m certain he has simply adapted to not being able to fully participate in conversations. And I’m certain he wished he could.
Mother on the other hand has diabetes and as a result has been gradually losing her eyesight. This has been a challenge for her as she has always sewed, crocheted, and cooked. And though she can still partially see, I expect the real disappointment, though she can still safely hold them in her arms, is she can’t really, really look into the eyes of her great grandchildren. She so wants photos of us and our families hung in their new home, but…
And now I find myself watching my parents, observing how they are functioning, something I really never did before. They have a very large television. Mother can see blurred images. The volume is up as high as it will go. If Mother misses something, Dad explains what he sees. If Dad misses something, then Mother explains what she hears. This has become their routine and amazingly seems to work for them.
Dad has had to take on a lot of the domestic role which was traditionally Mother’s. Of course he still seeks her counsel on just about everything, as was always the case between them. I have never doubted his grasping the value of having Mother as his partner for life. I can’t help but be concerned for the future, one living without the other.
They have been a team from the moment they pledged their wedding vows. And even though age and health issues are causing their life to become very simplified and extremely routine, they seem happy, contented, and very much still in love. I will forever be grateful for the stability and beautiful example of their unconditional and totally devoted love they share. Dad zips up mother’s jacket. She holds his hand as he guides them out the door. This is what marriage is all about. This is true love.
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