Standing for marriage can often be a very misunderstood concept, especially by those closest to the stander,…and especially by the stander’s wayward spouse. Take heart. It’s okay.
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
~~~Malachi 2:16 (ESV)~~~
Bob Steinkamp knew first hand what it meant to be considered a wayward or prodigal spouse. After years of marriage cloud covered by Bob’s unfaithfulness, camouflaged by his anger, Charlyne took counsel and divorced her husband and father of their three children. Only by the grace of God did she very quickly come to repent of her mistake. Yes, mistake.
“…with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
~~~Ephesians 4:2-3 (ESV)~~~
Rejoice Marriage Ministries was birthed from Bob & Charlyne’s marital chaos which thankfully resulted in their remarrying and rediscovering what marriage is truly all about.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”
“Give thanks unto the Lord, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people. Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him, talk ye of all his wondrous works. Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the Lord. Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually. Remember his marvellous works that he hath done, his wonders, and the judgments of his mouth; O ye seed of Israel his servant, ye children of Jacob, his chosen ones.”
~~~1 Chronicles 16:8-13 (KJV)~~~
“He is the Lord our God; his judgments are in all the earth. Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations; Even of the covenant which he made with Abraham, and of his oath unto Isaac; And hath confirmed the same to Jacob for a law, and to Israel for an everlasting covenant, Saying, Unto thee will I give the land of Canaan, the lot of your inheritance; When ye were but few, even a few, and strangers in it. And when they went from nation to nation, and from one kingdom to another people; He suffered no man to do them wrong: yea, he reproved kings for their sakes, Saying, Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm.”
~~~1 Chronicles 16:14-22 (KJV)~~~
“Sing unto the Lord, all the earth; shew forth from day to day his salvation. Declare his glory among the heathen; his marvellous works among all nations. For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised: he also is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the people are idols: but the Lord made the heavens. Glory and honour are in his presence; strength and gladness are in his place.”
~~~1 Chronicles 16:23-27 (KJV)~~~
“Give unto the Lord, ye kindreds of the people, give unto the Lord glory and strength. Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness. Fear before him, all the earth: the world also shall be stable, that it be not moved. Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice: and let men say among the nations, The Lord reigneth. Let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof: let the fields rejoice, and all that is therein. Then shall the trees of the wood sing out at the presence of the Lord, because he cometh to judge the earth. O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.”
~~~1 Chronicles 16:28-34 (KJV)~~~
“And say ye, Save us, O God of our salvation, and gather us together, and deliver us from the heathen, that we may give thanks to thy holy name, and glory in thy praise. Blessed be the Lord God of Israel for ever and ever. And all the people said, Amen, and praised the Lord.”
“He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned” Mark 16:16 (KJV).
While I was saved and baptized as a young teenager and loved the Lord, I was just busy getting on with my life, dreaming of the future, college, marriage and family,…I read my Bible, I attended church, prayed and naturally wove the topic of my faith into my conversations and life choices, I truly did believe, but…
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” Ephesians 6:4 (KJV).
During the summer after high school graduation I worked at the little local Carnegie Library. At noon I would walk a couple doors down and eat lunch with my grandparents. Thankfully they always made a point to challenge my thinking. This particular day I had made a bold statement about having my own faith and convictions. I remember his smile and her chuckle. And then my grandmother explaining how I had been living my parents’ faith and convictions. How, now entering the adult world and especially that of going away to college, my faith and convictions would be tested as I developed my own.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” Proverbs 22:6 (KJV).
Leaving our little “Mayberry” and entering the world of academia, my college educated and God loving grandmother was obviously correct. It wasn’t that I doubted her and of course, I definitely trusted her, it was that I just didn’t have a clue, as she herself knew, and as I was beginning to understand.
“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded” James 4:8 (KJV).
As I initially felt engulfed by all that this new world had to offer, I stayed true to my parents’ faith and convictions. I felt engulfed because I had left the protected and safe world where I honestly had never really dealt with dishonesty, where all the adults could be trusted and truly did care about my well being. While I would end up having college professors who were Christians, I also experienced like a deer in the headlights, professors who introduced me to a very foreign way of thinking. One atheist professor’s agenda was to destroy my faith in God. Yes, I was a (naive) Josh Wheaton being angrily challenged by my own Professor Radisson.
“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee” Deuteronomy 31:6 (KJV).
Did I waffle? Yes. Did I doubt my faith in God? No, but I did waffle a bit. How? I did question my wholesome upbringing by becoming curious about decisions my college friends were making, seemingly oblivious to the consequences for their actions. I mean, I was an adult now. Wasn’t I mature enough and wise enough to dabble in some of the same choices as my free-er thinking college friends?
“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever” 1 John 2:15-17 (KJV).
I did feel a mixture of emotions, guilt, shame, even regret for some of my own choices. I couldn’t understand what the difference was between others and their choices and me and my choices. How did they seem to not bear the weight of their own choices? Why weren’t they losing sleep and losing themselves?
“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit” Romans 8:1 (KJV).
It would be years of feeling guilt, regret, self-condemnation and shame as I felt the burden of carrying the responsibility of my poor decisions. I just couldn’t seem to give myself grace. Did I doubt what Jesus had done for me?
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” Romans 5:8 (KJV).
I remember the moment the truth became crystal clear. It was not that I had abandoned my faith during my college days, despite for what I felt condemnation. I was wrong! It was not condemnation, but conviction I felt!! God had never left me, He had been there with me all along. He had gently whispered into my ears the truth, guiding it down into my heart. Freedom is a wonderful thing. I am loved by Him for who I am and not my poor choices. I am loved by Him because I am me.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” Matthew 11:28 (ESV).
“This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him” Psalm 18:30 (ESV).
The much loved, but nearly forgotten hymns of old continue to come to mind. Being brought up in a Christian home where our family attended a very small country church, hymns were a staple and thankfully still form a reassuring melody in my heart during discouraging times as well as uplifting moments when I stand amazed at His glory. Hymns are poetically sung prayers of heartfelt desires, admiration and devotion being lifted up to our Heavenly Father by those who believe.
1 Why should I feel discouraged, Why should the shadows come, Why should my heart be lonely, And long for heav’n and home; When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is he; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know he watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know he watches me.
Refrain: I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free; For his eye is on the sparrow, And I know he watches me.
2 “Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear, And resting on his goodness, I lose my doubts and fears; Though by the path he leadeth, But one step I may see; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know he watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know he watches me. [Refrain]
3 Whenever I am tempted, Whenever clouds arise; When songs give place to sighing, When hope within me dies, I draw the closer to him, From care he sets me free; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know he watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know he watches me. [Refrain]
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“I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye” Psalm 32:8 (KJV).
Remembering the day when we actually used hymnals in church and sang the much loved but nearly forgotten hymns written by those long gone, Fanny Crosby’s lyrics “To God Be the Glory” inspired by the New Testament book of Galatians, will forever stand the test of time.
Stanza 1 To God be the glory, great things He hath done; So loved He the world that He gave us His Son, Who yielded His life an atonement for sin, And opened the life gate that all may go in.
Refrain Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Let the earth hear His voice! Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Let the people rejoice! O come to the Father, through Jesus the Son, And give Him the glory, great things He hath done.
Stanza 2 O perfect redemption, the purchase of blood, To every believer the promise of God; The vilest offender who truly believes, That moment from Jesus a pardon receives.
(Refrain)
Stanza 3 Great things He hath taught us, great things He hath done, And great our rejoicing through Jesus the Son; But purer, and higher, and greater will be Our wonder, our rapture, when Jesus we see.
(Refrain)
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“Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father: To whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen” Galatians 1:4-5 (KJV).
Even a lifetime is not long enough to truly wrap my mind around all of His glorious goodness!
“The Parables of Solomon the son of David king of Israel, To know wisdom, and instruction, to understand the words of knowledge, To receive instruction to do wisely, by justice and judgment and equity, To give unto the simple sharpness of wit, and to the child knowledge and discretion. And wise man shall hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels, To understand a parable, and the interpretation, the words of the wise, and their dark sayings.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction” Proverbs 1:1-7 (GNV).
Sadly the topic of respect for ourselves and others has become so selfishly twisted and far removed from what God intended, and especially that of respecting women. Singer, entertainer, and more importantly husband and father, Donny Osmond, (now entering forty-three years of marriage with his lovely wife, Debbie, has earned the right to not only speak out but be listened to as he purposely challenges the panel and audience of “Loose Women”, the British daytime talk show, to introspectively re-evaluate their value as women. Real change begins with our thoughts being gently and lovingly challenged with the truth. Real change begins in the heart.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25 (ESV).
“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” Proverbs 31:10-12 (ESV).
“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “’Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates” Proverbs 31:25-31 (ESV).
“Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!” Revelations 4:8 (ESV).
“Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.” Revelations 4:11 (ESV).
“Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.” Revelations 5:9-10 (ESV).
“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” Revelations 5:12 (ESV).
“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!” Revelations 5:13.
God wants there to be no doubt about it that it is He who answers our prayer requests. This is what an every day and ordinary happens-all-the time miracle is all about.
Who prays? You
Who believes? You
Who answers? God
Who gets blessed? You
Who says thank you? You
Who gets the glory? God
“Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things” Psalm 107:8-9 (ESV).
“…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV).
“Open to me the gates of righteousness, that I may enter through them and give thanks to the Lord” Psalm 118:19 (ESV).
