Rejoice Marriage Ministries fellow stander, Kim from Nebraska “When Dad had left several months ago, Nate and his sisters were actually glad to see him go. There had been arguing and strife in the home for a long time and Nate thought that this separation was a good thing because then he didn’t have to listen to the raised voices all the time or see the tears in his mom’s eyes after a confrontation. And, for a while, it WAS a good thing because the arguing had stopped. What he didn’t know at the time was that it was quiet in his home now because the enemy had succeeded in stirring up enough strife to break up another family”.
“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and have it in abundance.”
Kirk Cameron “To be a Cameron is to be a Christian. And I know that there’s been times I’ve seen my wife stand up on the kitchen table, you know, in moments of conflict and say ‘as for me and my house we serve the Lord. Satan get behind me!'”
“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Well, this month will be two years now since Mother went home to be with the Lord. And no, time doesn’t change the longing in our hearts. Dad is still just as much in love with Mother as he was all those sixty-plus years together. Maybe the tears aren’t as constant due to the mourning and grieving over her passing. Still, the love and adoration remain just as strong, just as real.
What is also so very special when remembering one of the most important people in my life, is just how amazing she was, how beautiful, how kind and always how loving. While Mother went through lots of health issues, very trying ones for sure, she remained devoted to Dad, us children, and the grand and great grandchildren. She knew what was important and that nothing was more important. She loved being our mother and we loved her being our mommy,… still.
“When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says.”
~~~Proverbs 31:26 (TLB)~~~
Family Albums
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Blessings!
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Paul “Divorce isn’t always the option that people think it is.”
Sarah “So I’m just suppose to stay in a miserable marriage?”
Paul “Marriage is a loyal partnership. Do you really think God would leave you with just two options? Misery or divorce? That’s a myth.”
Sarah “Well, children deserve to live in a home where their parents aren’t fighting all the time.”
Paul “Children deserve to live in a home where the parents learn to NOT fight with each other,…Sarah, you can get a divorce. That is an option that is certainly available to you, but you owe it to yourself and to your children to be honest about why you’re doing it.”
~~~~~~
Brent “Paul, why is this so hard?”
Paul “Well, did you think that turning your world upside down would be easy?”
Brent “Tons of people get divorced every day.”
Paul “That’s the point. None of this is gonna be easy. I mean, nobody wins in a divorce except the attorneys.”
Brent “This is tearing us apart.”
Paul “Well, that’s exactly what is supposed to be happening. Look, God develops this redemptive plan for the world, and divorce just tears at the heart of it.”
~~~~~~
Sarah “I felt so alone.”
Donovan “And you thought by divorcing your husband, that’s gonna make you feel less alone?”
Sarah “No, I just wanted Brent to prioritize our marriage and make me feel important as much as the kids and his job.”
Donovan ” And you thought by nagging him, by blaming him, by withholding your love and support for him…”
Sarah “I just wanted him to…”
Donavan “To what?”
Brent “To stand up. She just wanted me to stand up for us…Your honor, I thought the value of a man was measured by how hard he worked and how quickly he climbed the ladder of success. What’s funny is as soon as I got kicked off that ladder of success, the only thing I could think about was…my wife and kids.”
~~~~~~
“You should defend those who cannot help themselves.”
“He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned” Mark 16:16 (KJV).
While I was saved and baptized as a young teenager and loved the Lord, I was just busy getting on with my life, dreaming of the future, college, marriage and family,…I read my Bible, I attended church, prayed and naturally wove the topic of my faith into my conversations and life choices, I truly did believe, but…
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” Ephesians 6:4 (KJV).
During the summer after high school graduation I worked at the little local Carnegie Library. At noon I would walk a couple doors down and eat lunch with my grandparents. Thankfully they always made a point to challenge my thinking. This particular day I had made a bold statement about having my own faith and convictions. I remember his smile and her chuckle. And then my grandmother explaining how I had been living my parents’ faith and convictions. How, now entering the adult world and especially that of going away to college, my faith and convictions would be tested as I developed my own.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” Proverbs 22:6 (KJV).
Leaving our little “Mayberry” and entering the world of academia, my college educated and God loving grandmother was obviously correct. It wasn’t that I doubted her and of course, I definitely trusted her, it was that I just didn’t have a clue, as she herself knew, and as I was beginning to understand.
“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded” James 4:8 (KJV).
As I initially felt engulfed by all that this new world had to offer, I stayed true to my parents’ faith and convictions. I felt engulfed because I had left the protected and safe world where I honestly had never really dealt with dishonesty, where all the adults could be trusted and truly did care about my well being. While I would end up having college professors who were Christians, I also experienced like a deer in the headlights, professors who introduced me to a very foreign way of thinking. One atheist professor’s agenda was to destroy my faith in God. Yes, I was a (naive) Josh Wheaton being angrily challenged by my own Professor Radisson.
“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee” Deuteronomy 31:6 (KJV).
Did I waffle? Yes. Did I doubt my faith in God? No, but I did waffle a bit. How? I did question my wholesome upbringing by becoming curious about decisions my college friends were making, seemingly oblivious to the consequences for their actions. I mean, I was an adult now. Wasn’t I mature enough and wise enough to dabble in some of the same choices as my free-er thinking college friends?
“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever” 1 John 2:15-17 (KJV).
I did feel a mixture of emotions, guilt, shame, even regret for some of my own choices. I couldn’t understand what the difference was between others and their choices and me and my choices. How did they seem to not bear the weight of their own choices? Why weren’t they losing sleep and losing themselves?
“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit” Romans 8:1 (KJV).
It would be years of feeling guilt, regret, self-condemnation and shame as I felt the burden of carrying the responsibility of my poor decisions. I just couldn’t seem to give myself grace. Did I doubt what Jesus had done for me?
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” Romans 5:8 (KJV).
I remember the moment the truth became crystal clear. It was not that I had abandoned my faith during my college days, despite for what I felt condemnation. I was wrong! It was not condemnation, but conviction I felt!! God had never left me, He had been there with me all along. He had gently whispered into my ears the truth, guiding it down into my heart. Freedom is a wonderful thing. I am loved by Him for who I am and not my poor choices. I am loved by Him because I am me.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” Matthew 11:28 (ESV).
When I think of the term prodigal I envision a young man, on the verge of adulthood, who had become full of himself and unappreciative of what his father has provided. Yes, I think of the prodigal son found in the gospel of Luke, chapter fifteen. In short the son demanded his share of his father’s wealth only to very quickly end up penniless and destitute having wasted this wealth on riotous living. We are quick to view this sad situation from a financial standpoint, but obviously it was more character and morals issues at the root of it all. But alas, I digress.
Prodigals are not always frustrated teens bent on bucking their parents’ disciplined way of life, but are also wayward husbands and wives as well. Karen Wheaton’s book entitled “Watching The Road: Praying Your Prodigal Home” is a testament to just this. Yes, it is a story about her daughter, Lindsay Doss, who chose to walk away from Karen Wheaton and her family. It is also about Lindsay choosing to walk away from her marriage and children. It is a story about how Lindsay seemingly chose to walk away from everything she knew and everyone she loved.
“Watching The Road” is told from Karen Wheaton’s perspective as she searches for the truth, trusting God to not only return her daughter, Lindsay, to her, but to heal and restore Lindsay’s marriage and family. This is the story of a determined and devoted godly woman as she perseveres, refusing to give up. Karen Wheaton walks her reader through her journey of praying and interceding for her daughter’s return. Hidden throughout the pages are the secrets to having the kind of faith which not only endures but grows as it reveals not only the progression of a prodigal’s journey, but just how amazing God truly is to those He loves.
Photo Credit: Taryn Elliott
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I was rummaging through old cards and letters I didn’t even realize my parents still had. I came upon a letter I had written to Mother on her birthday. I really don’t remember writing this letter. I do however, remember being single and a college student at the time.
I have read and reread this letter over the last couple days. I’ve shed many tears, tears being released by all the memories which are coming back to me. And I wanted to share what I wrote to her with you. Many of you are blessed to have such a mother. Many of you may not be. Please remember though, we all have the potential to be this type of mother. It may not be to our own children even, but there is someone out there who surely is in need of your mothering, your unconditional love. Enjoy!
Dear Mother, There aren’t enough opportunities to express the thoughts that occur in the passing of my day. But as I struggle to mature into the person whom you, Dad, and God desire me, I find myself ‘impressioning’ a very beautiful person-that person is you. When you were my age, I was only occurring. Being a mother is very special and my ultimate goal is to be a good mother and wife and I know that I will look back at the manner in which you and Dad reared us. For now though, the Lord is leading me elsewhere, I only pray that I am interpreting his will correctly. His will is all I desire. My life is so confusing, I become frightened, and goof thing up. I wonder how and WHY God would use me-or even want to use me!! But I look at Moses, for one and how doubtful he was. God certainly used him. Life is difficult to understand, but having a Christian home and family is something I am thankful for and do find a security in. Never change, just keep getting better! And pray for me. I know you don’t always agree with the ways I do things, but take those things with a grain of salt. Mother, I just want to wish you a very Happy Birthday and thank you for being someone whom I can impression myself after. Love you always.
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I realize there is a dry humored and extremely funny British sitcom called “Waiting For God” which aired in the early nineties. Of course it is about those who are in their retirement years, making the best of it as they wait for God to grant them their final rest. Recently I have discovered we need to wait for God, but in another way.
Our world is bent on taking advantage of every second of every hour, filling it with what we consider to be productive activities. Our goal seems to be somewhat like a race. This race we gradually entered as teens, then college preparation, then hitting it hard climbing the ladder of success. Success being a nice home and other acquired possessions, marriage and family, position in our choice of career,…and of course the financial means necessary to have all of this and more. How do we do this? By what we consider to be productive activities.
At the end of this race we hope to have acquired everything and more. At the end of this race we enter the retirement years. At the end of this race we celebrate this monumental milestone, but only for a moment. We very quickly begin to reflect. Where did time go? Was it all worth it? What about the regrets, the sacrifices and fallout, the wrong decisions,…the emptiness.
Not for one second am I saying we should not be productive and have proof of our productivity. Each and every one of us has specific God-given purposes and have been given specific gifts and passions with which to fulfill our purposes in life. But maybe, just maybe we should slow down a bit, pace ourselves throughout this race, and wait for God to guide us along the way. And maybe, just maybe, during those quiet contemplative moments with God we come to realize what’s really important. In doing so we still are able to attain the good life we desired, but without the need to fill every second of every hour with ‘productive activity’ followed by making peace with our past regrets.
Instead we slow down, “smell the roses”, we take the time to look up and grasp the awesomeness of God’s creation. We notice the twinkle in our child’s eye for the first time in a long time. We really feel the love of our spouse and our heart begins to swell. And then we begin to relax a bit. We begin to desire subtle changes in how we think and how we behave. We promise ourselves to not waste another second of our time on empty and hollow pursuits. We come to realize relationships with those closest to us have now become our priority once and for all. And we relish our quiet moments of waiting for God.
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