Henry Cloud of Boundaries.Me discusses what a safe person is and is not.
“Change does happen, and it starts with you. Henry emphasizes that hope spends time and energy, and we have to accept what’s in front of us when we’re making decisions about unsafe people. We can’t expect someone change if there’s no tangible fruit for it to happen, but as we look forward to the future, we can embrace our capacity to change, set boundaries, employ consequences and build our support systems. When we equip and empower ourselves in such a way, the other person has no choice but to change the way they’re treating you.“
“A safe person helps you become and because of your relationship with them helps you become the best version of who you were created to be. See an unsafe person tries to either they harm you in some way or they try to turn you into somebody you’re not suppose to be. The second thing a safe person does is a safe person also helps you become more connected and able to connect and oriented towards connecting with other safe people. Cause some people that you think are safe, they don’t want you to have other relationships, right, they want to own you, they’re possessive. So we don’t want controlling, possessive relationships, we want relationships that build us to being better relational people. The third thing that a safe person does helps me get closer to God. See good relationships get us out of this, this materialistic, temporal, you know, self-gratification world that calls us to be called to higher purposes. So I think safe people doing all those things and unsafe people make us go the other direction.”
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
~~~Colossians 3:12-17 (ESV)~~~
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