JUST A SIP

Healthy Relational Boundaries

Henry Cloud of Boundaries.Me discusses what a safe person is and is not.

Change does happen, and it starts with you. Henry emphasizes that hope spends time and energy, and we have to accept what’s in front of us when we’re making decisions about unsafe people. We can’t expect someone change if there’s no tangible fruit for it to happen, but as we look forward to the future, we can embrace our capacity to change, set boundaries, employ consequences and build our support systems. When we equip and empower ourselves in such a way, the other person has no choice but to change the way they’re treating you.

“A safe person helps you become and because of your relationship with them helps you become the best version of who you were created to be. See an unsafe person tries to either they harm you in some way or they try to turn you into somebody you’re not suppose to be. The second thing a safe person does is a safe person also helps you become more connected and able to connect and oriented towards connecting with other safe people. Cause some people that you think are safe, they don’t want you to have other relationships, right, they want to own you, they’re possessive. So we don’t want controlling, possessive relationships, we want relationships that build us to being better relational people. The third thing that a safe person does helps me get closer to God. See good relationships get us out of this, this materialistic, temporal, you know, self-gratification world that calls us to be called to higher purposes. So I think safe people doing all those things and unsafe people make us go the other direction.”

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

~~~Colossians 3:12-17 (ESV)~~~

Image by James Chan from Pixabay

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Blessings!

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MARRIAGE STANDING

Moving On With My Life, NOT!

“We’ll all get over our divorce” is such a well intended yet foolish statement made by a person who either doesn’t really have a clue about the devastations of divorce, doesn’t really care about the devastations of divorce, or wants to merely pretend to themselves and those closest to them, especially the children (no matter the ages) involved that divorce has no destructive repercussions. Have you honestly stopped to take a good look ALL around you!?!

How I wish I had a dollar for every time someone has said to me that I just needed to get on with my life. I especially remember hearing this early on and wondering just what it was they were telling me to move on from. Crazy as it sounded then and still does, those who had my best interest at heart were trying to introduce me to someone nice, someone good looking, someone wealthy, someone whatever,…Often this was done all the while vehemently listing all my husband’s narcissistic tendencies, why he could not be trusted ever again, how he was incapable of changing, how he isn’t deserving of me,…even how my being revengeful is justified. Don’t think so. And yes, change happens all the time and can be a good thing, a very good thing.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV).

Honestly, our son has already been through more than enough with our marital issues to put him “on the couch” for many years to come, without me messing with his head and heart even more by turning my back on my husband, his father, by getting on with my life for selfish reasons no less. I know in my heart of hearts that my amazing husband is going through a transformational process, just as I have, and will soon be home. I am committed until my last breath, if need be, to stand for the healing and restoration of not just our marriage, but of our family as well.

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee” Deuteronomy 31:6 (KJV).

What we have been through is akin to a very painful death, grieving must take place. So while it is the death of the destructive aspects of our marriage, it is not the death of our marriage, but the rebirth as new life will emerge from the ashes as our marriage and family slowly, but surely heal and are restored to better than before. Yep, I still do love my husband and take our wedding vows very seriously. Why on earth would I want to be selfish and get on with my life!?!

“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” 2 Peter 3:9 (KJV).

Wedding Day, August 6, 1983

First Baptist Church, Winchester, Illinois

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Blessings!

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JUST A SIP

Yep, You & God Can Make It Happen!

Terri Savelle Foy: “If you want to go beyond where you are today, you have to feed what you want to live and starve what you want to die. Feed what you want to live and starve what you want to die. In other words you gotta feed your FAITH and starve your FEARS. And how do you do that? Well the Bible says that faith comes by hearing, right? So when you’re hearing God’s Word like you are today, and you’re reading books and you’re just filling yourself up with the Word of God, you know what happens? Your faith gets stronger and your fear gets weaker”.

“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.”

~~~Romans 10:17 (KJV)~~~

Image by Jills from Pixabay

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Blessings!

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