Divorce Is NOT Just about Your Happiness (a.k.a. Selfishness)

Paul “Divorce isn’t always the option that people think it is.”

Sarah “So I’m just suppose to stay in a miserable marriage?”

Paul “Marriage is a loyal partnership. Do you really think God would leave you with just two options? Misery or divorce? That’s a myth.”

Sarah “Well, children deserve to live in a home where their parents aren’t fighting all the time.”

Paul “Children deserve to live in a home where the parents learn to NOT fight with each other,…Sarah, you can get a divorce. That is an option that is certainly available to you, but you owe it to yourself and to your children to be honest about why you’re doing it.”

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Brent “Paul, why is this so hard?”

Paul “Well, did you think that turning your world upside down would be easy?”

Brent “Tons of people get divorced every day.”

Paul “That’s the point. None of this is gonna be easy. I mean, nobody wins in a divorce except the attorneys.”

Brent “This is tearing us apart.”

Paul “Well, that’s exactly what is supposed to be happening. Look, God develops this redemptive plan for the world, and divorce just tears at the heart of it.”

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Sarah “I felt so alone.”

Donovan “And you thought by divorcing your husband, that’s gonna make you feel less alone?”

Sarah “No, I just wanted Brent to prioritize our marriage and make me feel important as much as the kids and his job.”

Donovan ” And you thought by nagging him, by blaming him, by withholding your love and support for him…”

Sarah “I just wanted him to…”

Donavan “To what?”

Brent “To stand up. She just wanted me to stand up for us…Your honor, I thought the value of a man was measured by how hard he worked and how quickly he climbed the ladder of success. What’s funny is as soon as I got kicked off that ladder of success, the only thing I could think about was…my wife and kids.”

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“You should defend those who cannot help themselves.”

Proverbs 31:8 (TLB)

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Blessings!

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JUST A SIP

Walking Out Our Two God-Given Purpose Commandments

April 17, 2021April 17, 2021 taylorjamesalbert

There is never an age or a stage of our life that we are not to identify our God-given purpose and to fulfill it to the best of our ability. How? Always default to the two greatest commandments, and then ask God what it is we should be doing to fulfill both of these commandments in the proper order at that specific time.

“‘Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?’ And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.’”

~~~Matthew 22:36-40 (ESV)~~~

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Blessings!

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JUST A SIP

The Boomerang Effect of Love Overflowing

April 12, 2021April 12, 2021 taylorjamesalbert

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

~~~Luke 6:37-38 (ESV)~~~

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.”

~~~Luke 6:37-38 (MSG)~~~

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Blessings!

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JUST A SIP

Do Others See Jesus In You?

April 7, 2021April 7, 2021 taylorjamesalbert

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.”

~~~Galatians 6:7-10 (KJV)~~~

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Blessings!

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MARRIAGE STANDING

Selfish, Emotional, Nonsensical Crazy-Making, Yep! It Surprised Me, Too!

February 25, 2021February 25, 2021 taylorjamesalbert

When a couple goes through marital issues, poor decisions are often made, strike that, poor decisions are always made. While I did not divorce my husband, my crazy-making, in word and deed, led my amazing husband to want to run away from home, far, far away. I get it, yes,…now I get it. We have both apologized to each other and to our precious son, and healing is slowly but surely happening.

“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house” Proverbs 21:9 (KJV).

Once I let go of my selfish, bitter, revengeful, angry, blaming, prideful,…pity me and poor me attitudes, I was finally able to love my husband in a deeper way, allowing me to see him as a tender, hurting, and severely damaged soul. You see, we fell head over heels in love way back, well I recorded in my journal that I had met the man of my dreams, was in love, and yes, ready to marry my future husband back on January 17th of 1982. It’s seems like just yesterday. I still feel the joy, excitement, and yes, the love.

What’s so difficult when it comes to marital issues is that it always looks like your better half has all the problems. Your emotions get the best of you causing you to begin seeing them as selfish and so, let the games begin. Funny, truth be told, you, yourself, are being selfish.

No, I’m not going to discount your or my spouse’s part to play in all of this nonsense, just pointing out how it wasn’t just my husband, but Moi as well who needed to get my head examined, my eyes check, and my heart cleansed of all selfishness.

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (KJV).

We absolutely must stay on guard, watching out for those moments when we find ourselves thinking more about ourselves than about the relationship, the marriage. Marriage is about two people coming together, two people who have vowed to forsake all others and to commit to the bond, the unity created before God and family.

“And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand” Matthew 12:25 (KJV).

I can still hear that still small voice whispering in my ear of how a house divided cannot stand. Of course I couldn’t see how I was creating division in our marriage by becoming selfish. What I convinced myself of was how I was doing everything I possibly could to prevent such a division from occurring. I was on a mission, a mission commissioned by God no less. Crazy huh? This is how selfishness works and ultimately how selfishness causes us to lose every single time.

Thank God He does not quit on us. Thank God He is a God who forgives, forgets, heals and restores. I like to say God is a God of second-second chances. And for this I will forever be grateful.

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Blessings!

JUST A SIP

Our Wonderful Lord!

February 22, 2021February 22, 2021 taylorjamesalbert

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”

~~~Genesis 1:1 (GNV)~~~

“Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the heathen, and I will be exalted in the earth.”

~~~Psalm 46:10 (GNV)~~~

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Blessings!

JUST A SIP

The Greatest of These Is Love

February 14, 2021February 14, 2021 taylorjamesalbert

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

~~~1 Corinthians 13 (ESV)~~~

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Blessings!

JUST A SIP

Thank God, He Disciplines His Children

February 10, 2021February 10, 2021 taylorjamesalbert

“Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

‘My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.’

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

~~~Hebrews 12:3-11 (ESV)~~~

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Blessings!

JUST A SIP

The Providence of God & Our Pettiness

February 7, 2021February 7, 2021 taylorjamesalbert

“I’m not on a quest for some kind of philosophical height. I don’t dread being unphilosophical. I dread, from my heart, being shrunk down in heart to the level where my heart’s capacities for happiness consist only in silly TV jingles and empty-headed slapstick. That’s what I fear. And in my life — this is why I’m commending it — it is seeing and savoring the all-pervasive providence of God that has protected me from the shrinking of my soul” John Piper.

“For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

~~~1 John 2:16-17 (ESV)~~~

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

~~~Matthew 6:19-20 (ESV)~~~

“But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.”

~~~1 Timothy 6:11 (ESV)~~~

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Blessings!

MARRIAGE STANDING

Why I Am Standing For My Marriage

January 28, 2021January 28, 2021 taylorjamesalbert

Despite all the ups and downs of marriage, family and life, I have always felt so secure, trusting my husband then as I still do now. It was such a shock when he seemingly and simply just walked away from our marriage and family. I spent months and months, and months in a daze.

I was working in the Deans Office at the university. We were only weeks away from our wedding date. An older woman working with me suggested I have a secret financial nest egg, should the need arise. I remember thinking, I don’t think so. My mother and my grandmothers had not done so, and neither would I. Besides, this young man who held my heart, was simply not the type.

While, at the time of my husband’s leaving, I had not heard about standing for marriage, I just knew I needed to remain committed to our marriage and family. I had no idea the process or the time frame. My brother-in-law asked me if I really thought my husband would come home. I responded most definitely, but it would take time.

As children we tend to wish to quickly grow up, to be unaware of all that is required in order to develop into a responsible adult with solid character traits. We innocently count the days until Christmas as if pushing time were possible. Time becomes an issue to us. God doesn’t require time, yet with our impatience we tend to think time is the problem, never realizing it is us and not God, slowing the process.

Whenever a couple has marital issues, one spouse tends to selfishly believe the other spouse is the problem. The other spouse is the one who needs fixing. We simply cannot see our need to change. We pridefully tend to think we have God’s permission to manipulate our spouse, never considering how we too, are not as we should be. It’s not about getting even, revenge, fixing them or proving I’m right and you are wrong.

We simply cannot see how God wants to work on us first, cleansing our hearts of all selfish nonsense. Standing is not about fixing your spouse. Standing is first and foremost about an intimate, up close and personal relationship with God. It is then and only then, as we come to realize just how much love, grace, and forgiveness He has for us, that we too, can offer our better half the same love, grace, and forgiveness.

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“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again” Matthew 7:1-2 (KJV).

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye” Matthew 7:3-5 (KJV).

Hope you enjoyed reading this post and will consider sharing your thoughts, following me on social media and subscribing to my blog. Blessings! Taylor