Devastations of Divorce

“We’ll all get over our divorce” is such a well intended yet foolish statement made by a person who either doesn’t really have a clue about the devastations of divorce, doesn’t really care about the devastations of divorce, or wants to merely pretend to themselves and those closest to them, especially the children (no matter the ages) involved that divorce has no destructive repercussions. Have you honestly stopped to take a good look ALL around you!?!

How I wish I had a dollar for every time someone has said to me that I just needed to get on with my life. I especially remember hearing this early on and wondering just what it was they were telling me to move on from. Crazy as it sounded then and still does, those who had my best interest at heart were trying to introduce me to someone nice, someone good looking, someone wealthy, someone whatever,…Often this was done all the while vehemently listing all my husband’s narcissistic tendencies, why he could not be trusted ever again, how he was incapable of changing, how he isn’t deserving of me,…even how my being revengeful is justified. Don’t think so. And yes, change happens all the time and can be a good thing, a very good thing.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV).

Honestly, our son has already been through more than enough with our marital issues to put him “on the couch” for many years to come, without me messing with his head and heart even more by turning my back on my husband, his father, by getting on with my life for selfish reasons no less. I know in my heart of hearts that my amazing husband is going through a transformational process, just as I have, and will soon be home. I am committed until my last breath, if need be, to stand for the healing and restoration of not just our marriage, but of our family as well.

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee” Deuteronomy 31:6 (KJV).

What we have been through is akin to a very painful death, grieving must take place. So while it is the death of the destructive aspects of our marriage, it is not the death of our marriage, but the rebirth as new life will emerge from the ashes as our marriage and family slowly, but surely heal and are restored to better than before. Yep, I still do love my husband and take our wedding vows very seriously. Why on earth would I want to be selfish and get on with my life!?!

“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” 2 Peter 3:9 (KJV).