Kathryn Kuhlman “As you read the Word, and if you and I have any right to put sin in any kind of a category, I think that we’ll find that the sin of jealousy is the worst sin there is. So great, so powerful is the sin of jealousy that literally its power, its force, caused one of the three most beautiful angels that God ever created and to whom He gave the greatest power, transformed that one from an angel into the devil. It was the sin of jealousy that caused Lucifer to be what he is today, the devil, Satan. And yet how many of us will just label the sin of jealousy as a witness, a minor thing, something that we have never confessed, we have never admitted this sin in our own lives, we do not see it in ourselves”.
“How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low!”
~~~Isaiah 14:12 (ESV)~~~
“How have you fallen from heaven, O light-bringer and daystar, son of the morning! How you have been cut down to the ground, you who weakened and laid low the nations [O blasphemous, satanic king of Babylon!]”
~~~Isaiah 14:12 (AMPC)~~~
“art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!”
Paul “Divorce isn’t always the option that people think it is.”
Sarah “So I’m just suppose to stay in a miserable marriage?”
Paul “Marriage is a loyal partnership. Do you really think God would leave you with just two options? Misery or divorce? That’s a myth.”
Sarah “Well, children deserve to live in a home where their parents aren’t fighting all the time.”
Paul “Children deserve to live in a home where the parents learn to NOT fight with each other,…Sarah, you can get a divorce. That is an option that is certainly available to you, but you owe it to yourself and to your children to be honest about why you’re doing it.”
~~~~~~
Brent “Paul, why is this so hard?”
Paul “Well, did you think that turning your world upside down would be easy?”
Brent “Tons of people get divorced every day.”
Paul “That’s the point. None of this is gonna be easy. I mean, nobody wins in a divorce except the attorneys.”
Brent “This is tearing us apart.”
Paul “Well, that’s exactly what is supposed to be happening. Look, God develops this redemptive plan for the world, and divorce just tears at the heart of it.”
~~~~~~
Sarah “I felt so alone.”
Donovan “And you thought by divorcing your husband, that’s gonna make you feel less alone?”
Sarah “No, I just wanted Brent to prioritize our marriage and make me feel important as much as the kids and his job.”
Donovan ” And you thought by nagging him, by blaming him, by withholding your love and support for him…”
Sarah “I just wanted him to…”
Donavan “To what?”
Brent “To stand up. She just wanted me to stand up for us…Your honor, I thought the value of a man was measured by how hard he worked and how quickly he climbed the ladder of success. What’s funny is as soon as I got kicked off that ladder of success, the only thing I could think about was…my wife and kids.”
~~~~~~
“You should defend those who cannot help themselves.”
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
~~~1 Peter 3:1-7 (ESV)~~~
“Redemption means I’m doing the right thing for you when you’re doing the wrong thing for me,…Jesus paid a price for us that we could not pay,…” Jimmy Evans.
“…our first response always is anger,…frustrated,…the pity stuff,…I look at what God went through just to redeem me,…I mean I should at least give that to you,…You blamed me for everything. You would never take responsibility,…there’s two sides to every marriage,…You definitely have issues as much as your husband does, but what I did is I asked the Lord to change me,…and then I just started praying,…constantly in my prayer closet.,…I didn’t lose faith that God could change both of us,…” Karen Evans.
“We’ll all get over our divorce” is such a well intended yet foolish statement made by a person who either doesn’t really have a clue about the devastations of divorce, doesn’t really care about the devastations of divorce, or wants to merely pretend to themselves and those closest to them, especially the children (no matter the ages) involved that divorce has no destructive repercussions. Have you honestly stopped to take a good look ALL around you!?!
How I wish I had a dollar for every time someone has said to me that I just needed to get on with my life. I especially remember hearing this early on and wondering just what it was they were telling me to move on from. Crazy as it sounded then and still does, those who had my best interest at heart were trying to introduce me to someone nice, someone good looking, someone wealthy, someone whatever,…Often this was done all the while vehemently listing all my husband’s narcissistic tendencies, why he could not be trusted ever again, how he was incapable of changing, how he isn’t deserving of me,…even how my being revengeful is justified. Don’t think so. And yes, change happens all the time and can be a good thing, a very good thing.
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV).
Honestly, our son has already been through more than enough with our marital issues to put him “on the couch” for many years to come, without me messing with his head and heart even more by turning my back on my husband, his father, by getting on with my life for selfish reasons no less. I know in my heart of hearts that my amazing husband is going through a transformational process, just as I have, and will soon be home. I am committed until my last breath, if need be, to stand for the healing and restoration of not just our marriage, but of our family as well.
“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee” Deuteronomy 31:6 (KJV).
What we have been through is akin to a very painful death, grieving must take place. So while it is the death of the destructive aspects of our marriage, it is not the death of our marriage, but the rebirth as new life will emerge from the ashes as our marriage and family slowly, but surely heal and are restored to better than before. Yep, I still do love my husband and take our wedding vows very seriously. Why on earth would I want to be selfish and get on with my life!?!
“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” 2 Peter 3:9 (KJV).
Wedding Day, August 6, 1983
First Baptist Church, Winchester, Illinois
Hope you enjoyed reading this post and will consider sharing your thoughts, following me on social media and subscribing to my blog.
Blessings!
This post may contain affiliate links for which I may earn compensation when you click on the links at no additional cost to you.
When a couple goes through marital issues, poor decisions are often made, strike that, poor decisions are always made. While I did not divorce my husband, my crazy-making, in word and deed, led my amazing husband to want to run away from home, far, far away. I get it, yes,…now I get it. We have both apologized to each other and to our precious son, and healing is slowly but surely happening.
“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house” Proverbs 21:9 (KJV).
Once I let go of my selfish, bitter, revengeful, angry, blaming, prideful,…pity me and poor me attitudes, I was finally able to love my husband in a deeper way, allowing me to see him as a tender, hurting, and severely damaged soul. You see, we fell head over heels in love way back, well I recorded in my journal that I had met the man of my dreams, was in love, and yes, ready to marry my future husband back on January 17th of 1982. It’s seems like just yesterday. I still feel the joy, excitement, and yes, the love.
What’s so difficult when it comes to marital issues is that it always looks like your better half has all the problems. Your emotions get the best of you causing you to begin seeing them as selfish and so, let the games begin. Funny, truth be told, you, yourself, are being selfish.
No, I’m not going to discount your or my spouse’s part to play in all of this nonsense, just pointing out how it wasn’t just my husband, but Moi as well who needed to get my head examined, my eyes check, and my heart cleansed of all selfishness.
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (KJV).
We absolutely must stay on guard, watching out for those moments when we find ourselves thinking more about ourselves than about the relationship, the marriage. Marriage is about two people coming together, two people who have vowed to forsake all others and to commit to the bond, the unity created before God and family.
“And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand” Matthew 12:25 (KJV).
I can still hear that still small voice whispering in my ear of how a house divided cannot stand. Of course I couldn’t see how I was creating division in our marriage by becoming selfish. What I convinced myself of was how I was doing everything I possibly could to prevent such a division from occurring. I was on a mission, a mission commissioned by God no less. Crazy huh? This is how selfishness works and ultimately how selfishness causes us to lose every single time.
Thank God He does not quit on us. Thank God He is a God who forgives, forgets, heals and restores. I like to say God is a God of second-second chances. And for this I will forever be grateful.
Despite all the ups and downs of marriage, family and life, I have always felt so secure, trusting my husband then as I still do now. It was such a shock when he seemingly and simply just walked away from our marriage and family. I spent months and months, and months in a daze.
I was working in the Deans Office at the university. We were only weeks away from our wedding date. An older woman working with me suggested I have a secret financial nest egg, should the need arise. I remember thinking, I don’t think so. My mother and my grandmothers had not done so, and neither would I. Besides, this young man who held my heart, was simply not the type.
While, at the time of my husband’s leaving, I had not heard about standing for marriage, I just knew I needed to remain committed to our marriage and family. I had no idea the process or the time frame. My brother-in-law asked me if I really thought my husband would come home. I responded most definitely, but it would take time.
As children we tend to wish to quickly grow up, to be unaware of all that is required in order to develop into a responsible adult with solid character traits. We innocently count the days until Christmas as if pushing time were possible. Time becomes an issue to us. God doesn’t require time, yet with our impatience we tend to think time is the problem, never realizing it is us and not God, slowing the process.
Whenever a couple has marital issues, one spouse tends to selfishly believe the other spouse is the problem. The other spouse is the one who needs fixing. We simply cannot see our need to change. We pridefully tend to think we have God’s permission to manipulate our spouse, never considering how we too, are not as we should be. It’s not about getting even, revenge, fixing them or proving I’m right and you are wrong.
We simply cannot see how God wants to work on us first, cleansing our hearts of all selfish nonsense. Standing is not about fixing your spouse. Standing is first and foremost about an intimate, up close and personal relationship with God. It is then and only then, as we come to realize just how much love, grace, and forgiveness He has for us, that we too, can offer our better half the same love, grace, and forgiveness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again” Matthew 7:1-2 (KJV).
“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye” Matthew 7:3-5 (KJV).
Family Photos: “Mr & Mrs”
Hope you enjoyed reading this post and will consider sharing your thoughts, following me on social media and subscribing to my blog. Blessings! Taylor
